Chapter 6

6
“So what do you think you’ll ever get out of this?” My mother screamed at me at the top of her lungs.
“I want to make a living of this, I know I can but you wont give me a chance, all I’m asking for is just half of what their going to charge, dad’s got the other half covered.” I pleaded to her, at this moment film school meant everything to me. She let out a sigh and rubbed her head like she it was hurting, I could tell her face was turning red with anger.
“So I spend all this money so that you’ll become nothing? Why can’t you just aim for something real, you know sign language and have computer skills, why not use those talents to get a real job?”
“Why can’t you understand that Iv always wanted this to happen for me? Iv always wanted to be a director, IV always been a good writer, and I want to use THOSE SKILLS to make it. I can do it, I just need the money so I can get and education, please I know Iv asked a lot from you before but this time it’s important. I need this, I’m going to be somebody when I get out of film school.” She interrupted me by yelling
“Why the hell should I give you this money? No one makes it as a director? Your just going to make horrible movies like the ones you watch, IV read your writing. Why can’t you write something happy? Everyone likes happy.”  No they don’t, I know I don’t want happy because I want to watch and make good movies. I couldn’t help but raise my voice at her
“Why can’t you think about how much this means to me? IV always wanted this to happen, and I know it will. Why can’t you let me chase my dreams?”
“Because when you try to chase your dreams someone catches them first, no one ever makes it.”
“Just because you’re the failure doesn’t mean I’m going to as well.” I stopped because I knew what I said was way below the belt. She stared at me with her eyes burning red fire, a pissed off IV never witnessed. The tension and hatred built up between us was coming out, and it felt like I was breathing fire. I looked at her as she raised her finger up to me.
“You’re…not getting once cent from me. Every time you wanted something I always got it for you, you’re a spoiled little shit who thinks everything will go right for him in the end since IV been their to hold your hand when things got bumpy. And what even makes you think your even college material?” That’s when I slapped down the envelope in my hand. I stared at her with a cold blank face since all the hatred and anger issues IV had with my mother where coming out in her living room. I looked at her in the eyes and said as calm as I could.
“I already applied, they want me in but I don’t have that kind of cash. I’m asking you a favor that will make me or break me. Yes it is a chance, but it should be a chance your willing to take. If you don’t want to pay for it, if you want me to be a good for nothing burden to society drunk like you since you have problems from your childhood, that’s fine by me. I’m leaving this house, and when I come back I’ll be a millionaire and you’ll still be nothing.”
“What makes you think people will even listen to you? IV read your scripts while you where at your dad’s, their crap. No one’s going to take you seriously.” I closed my fist so hard that my fingernails started to dig into my skin causing my palm to bleed. I tried my hardest not to hit her with a closed fist as I stood their watching someone who should be by my sides at all time try to block my path to something that IV always wanted to do. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my calm.
“That’s just like you right mom? You never had any successes or a job that you liked, so why should others get what they want while you sit here in misery and in pain? Grow the hell up mom, maybe your life would be better if you took off the ‘victim’ mask and take a look around. Our walls are falling apart, our stove won’t turn on, and we don’t have food to eat. If this happens then I can get this all fixed, all I need is this money, if you do this for me your going to start asking me for favors. Please I’m begging you.” But my plea fell to deaf ears. Mom didn’t pay for my car or most of the bills because she thought that money are something that you keep to yourself since there was no one to give it too anyways. I always promised myself that I would never end up like her I would always be generous with my money, and I wont end up all alone like her….

I put my feet up on Lenny’s desk just as I rubbed my chin.
“Now what would I get for giving to this charity?” He looked at me like a little kid who watched his dog get run over by a SUV.
“Because…children will eat with this money.” I scoffed at him.
“I need to eat with my money, and who says I don’t have debts to pay off?”  Once again his jaw dropped.  He went on some speech about how the African children don’t have water or real food besides dirt I wasn’t paying attention to much since I was only their to talk about the movie, but he started pushing some charity on me, but I wasn’t buying into it they can work for their share of millions of dollars like I did. He got up and offered me a cigar, but I politely declined. He sat back down and looked at me.
“So about the movie….”
“Yeah did you like it?” I asked him as I took my feet of his desk and the chair shoot straight down to the floor with a large CLUNK on his wood floor. He lit his cigar with a real badass gold lighter; I like that look, the flame, the cigar… so going to use this in the movie.
“Well I thought it had some good laughs, and some good rants out of no where. But other then that it’s…kind of flat. I mean it doesn’t have that great tragedy at the end like the rest of your movies.” He blew out his cigar in a nice black cloud.
“Yeah maybe its because I want to stop depressing people.”  He gave me that same look like I had just run over his puppy.
“Why?  I mean that’s what makes your movies so great and epic is that there is no Hollywood ending or the two people in walking off into the sunset. Make it more sad just trust me on this.” I rose up my right eyebrow at him.
“So…. you want me to put a tragic end in a comedy about people who play football? Am I the only one who see how close to impossible that is?”  He put his cigar in the ashtray and looked at me.
“Let me be frank about this, this will not be good news to your hardcore fans.”
“Yeah but iv met most of those people, if they don’t want to see the movie that’s okay since I cant miss a friend that iv never had.” He looked at me blankly…. then he leaned in and got real close to me.
“Look I’m going to make this blunt. Your fans are nothing but losers that have no real friends so they go to your movies, now when their best friend Joe Wilke turns their back on them and makes a movie that stupid Goth kids wont enjoy their will be backlash, you and me will never be taken seriously in this world ever again. Make it more sad, fuck make it a drama.” A drama? Hell wouldn’t be the first time, but if I made this into a drama it would be more of a chick flick.
“No way am I turning this one into a tear jerker. It wouldn’t work, besides what are the Goth kids going to do anyways put a spell on me with their black magic? Iv had it with some of my fans, I really do think its time for a new fan base.”
“Yeah but the only thing wrong with that is your fan base is you me and Jenny.”
He had a point, the only people I want enjoying my movies are I, and I just realized the irony of hating people but my job is to entertain them.  I adjusted myself in the seat and took a long thought about what he said. For some reason Goth kids and other idiots that where black all day have tons of cash for mowing the lawn, maybe I should make it sadder.  But that means being a sell out if word I changed my comedy into a drama about football players, and then it hit me.
“Why would Goth tards go see a movie about the very people they hate?” That’s when Lenny had a face of DUH.
“Oh yeah…” he muttered to himself. “Okay change the entire damn thing.” That’s when I felt my blood get a little cold.
“Change the entire thing?”
“Yeah make it a comedy, but about the Goth kids!” I couldn’t believe the words that where coming out of his mouth, change the entire fucking movie? Well then he can French kiss my ass cheeks if he thinks that’s ever going to happen that snot nosed prick.
“No way in a frozen hell is that ever going to happen. If this part of my audience doesn’t see the movie, then they don’t see it. You got a deal, Ill make it just a bit sadder, but no way in hell am I going to completely change the movie to a drama. No chance in hell.”
“So you are going to make it sadder right?” I nodded my head. He stood up witch meant
And theirs no way you’ll ever get me to re-write it about Goth kids. What kind of story would that be? Nothing interesting would happen.”
“So you are going to make it sadder right?” I nodded my head. He stood up witch meant this meeting was now over. He offered to shake hands with me so I gave him a brief handshake only to let go about three seconds later.
“I’ll run by my office and try to make the changes, I’ll email you the results of this. If this ends up sucking and this movie is my first flop because of your changes consider your ass canned.” And with that threat I left the building, sure it wasn’t a polite goodbye but I’m not a polite person so it works out like that.

On the drive to my office I had even more flashbacks of my childhood, and realized I just trashed everyone that was ever my friend back in school to Lenny. I realized that I grew up with people who always wear black, die their hair stupid colors and listen to shitty emo techno music. I remember a time where Goth meant listen to heavy metal and worship Satan, but now its becomes a really stupid thing to do if your one of those “I hate life someone please kill me” kind of person. The ones that ware black and have heavy metal tunes blaring through their headphones are people I respect and used to admire, the morons that ware makeup and think their life sucks since their parents make them do chores and homework are the ones that I have a beef with, and where the ones I grew up with. None of my friends where metal heads and I was the only one that didn’t wear black or make up, am I the only one who sees the irony in this? Sure they where fun to hang out with until teenage drama bullshit came into play. And what I never got was how most of the people I chilled with made fun of others for being a wuss when they got dumped, and they act even worse then preps when they get told to shove off. At least preps cry about it they only complain about it till they get a new boyfriend the next day, when Goths get dumped they take it with them to the grave. If you disagree with me on this check out prep pop music about being happy and sunshiny while Goth music is all about death and being unhappy. If you ask me their both a bunch of wussy sissy pansy music that should have never been made but have been anyways because teens need music too. Another reason why I hate punk kids is their taking up the radio with noise.

And not only did I hang with the Goth kids, I really think they where an influence on me. Some of the shit that the people I would hang out with would pass as a decent movie or song just made my blood boil. I couldn’t take most of the movies that my friends made me watch, when I see a movie it to be something called…entertaining. Not something where farts are funny because they’re all overused and outdated. Fuck American Pie and every other gross out movie. I made movies to save people from box office horrors like some of the things iv had to watch in my day. The crap these kids call horror movies, its why I made Lone Wolf and I think its why movies like Evil Dead where made. But the one thing IV realized is that most Goth kids are just preppies that are into chains. They like and read the same thing, they eat the same food, and they complain about the same bullshit. Sure the difference is a prep girl is spoiled and a Goth isn’t but other then that they are exactly the same, in fact most of the Goths I knew where preps that like black. They where all the same, at least through my eyes I cant believe these people never got along. Goths are scary? No, they want to be scary and act like they have issues but its all a bunch of crap, most of the time people make up their own issues anyways. You’re not beautiful? Well why waste all that time trying to grow a personality so that people will look beyond the amounts of ugly that you are and laugh at what you have to say? Starving yourself makes all the ugly go away right? Hell while your at most people love talking to fucks that cut themselves, I mean you have every reason to right? The kids at school make fun of you, your parents don’t love you, and school is to hard. Instead of taking out your anger with a razor blade you should do what I did, become better then everyone else. Do you see anyone I know make millions of dollars? No, the kids that made fun of me at school are flipping burgers and bagging groceries, and their going to do that for the rest of their life since they where to busy making fun of you then learning how to read. Having real issues like abusive parents or being homeless is something to be depressed about, but not the acceptance of others. I realized this along time ago other people don’t matter. Not the people who bully you, not the teachers, not your friends, not your parents, no one but you matters in this world, that was my attitude towards life and look how great I am. Iv written and directed movies that have made me millions of millions of dollars. I could of retired after the first one but now I’m hard at work on my fourth movie and I don’t even have to lift a finger to get what I want. That’s the key to getting far in life, work your ass off and never give up no matter how hard it gets theirs always a way out.

I pulled into the parking lot and took my time to get out so I could show off my car. Manda knows I’m coming in so I couldn’t wait to see her…smile again. Yeah that’s what I like about her. Anyways when I went inside I was expecting to hear a giant “JOEY!” but I heard silence. I looked around, my office was completely trashed, papers where everywhere, desks where overturned and computers where broken. The chairs in the lobby where smashed in or had the legs torn off, but my office part of the building where completely fine. I went inside to investigate what happened. For some strange reason I had that feeling of passing out again, but it wasn’t like the rest of the times. Most of the time I got real light headed and my eye lids got heavy, but this time I head was full of pain and I don’t remember the loud wooden CRACK when I pass out. The back my head was in major amounts of pain as I fell to the floor, that’s when I heard two men speaking Spanish above me, I was to lightheaded to get up and see what was happening but I could feel them dragging me until everything finally went black.  Blood going down my head was the only thing I felt before I went to la-la land.

“LA?” Toni said to me with a tear running down her cheek.
“I have to move there, its where UCLA is. My moms not giving up a penny so my dad paid for the entire thing. Do you know how much he had to cough up to pay for me going there?”  She shook her head no, and when I told her, her eyes opened wide and her mouth almost hit the ground. She started crying, so as the good person that I am I started to hold her as she cried into my shoulder. I whispered softly in her ear:
“Shh…c’mon its not that bad. I’ll be back some day, and when I do I’ll give you some of my money. I’ll buy a big house right in the outskirts of town where you, our friends, and me can hang out all day. I promise I’ll come back, and when I do we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.” I heard her sniffle into my ear as she whispered back:
“Why do you always leave though? This is your home, this is where Manda lives, this is where your mom lives, and this is where I live. Why can’t you stay? What do you think you can gain in LA that you don’t have here?” That’s when I pulled her away and made her look at me. I felt a tear run down my cheek.
“Toni, here I can’t get anything. Here is where people like your dad and my mom live. I don’t want to live this way, living in fear of bills and debt I don’t want to have to go through the hardships that my dad went through, and I want to have a chance to make sure I can give my kids a good life. I get this chance only once, so I’m going to take it, this chance is my only chance to make something of my life. Toni I know it hurts your feelings but I have to make this work, I have to go to film school and I need to become a director. If this never happens then I, we, will be stuck in this hole of a town forever.”
She looked at me deep with those beautiful brown eyes of hers. Her long hair was blowing from the wind, and so was my jacket. The moon was the only source of light we had up on that balcony, staring at the night stars where I lured her so I could give her the “good” news about school in private. Was I in love with her? No, was she in love with me, oh hell no, but we grew up together we had a friendship that couldn’t be put into words. Me leaving is just the same as stopping her heart, but I had too at the moment. I looked at her again this time with passion. I could see the tear that went down her cheek as she looked up at me, and I could feel the tear going down mine that was about to run down to my lips.
“Look I don’t want to lose you either, but I know one day I’ll come back. This isn’t the end of us, and this sure as hell isn’t the end of the world. Wait for me, I will come back.”
That’s when she leaned in real close and held me tighter. Okay forget the her not being in love with me thing.
“Then let me have something so I’ll never forget you….”



Ouch, what the hell is wrong with my head? Huh glad I didn’t dream about cowboys that time. Hey my head itches. What the? Hey I can’t move my arms. Ouch something tights got them…where the in the hell am I? At that point I decided to open my eyes to see a rather bulky man stand in front of me with two other people at his side. I looked up at him, and then looked around. I wasn’t in my office anymore; in fact I had no clue where the hell I was at all. I checked to see what was wrong with my arms and that’s when I noticed the thick rope covering my arms, but not my legs. I looked up again to see the man, biting his fingernail and looking to my left. I turned around to see what he was looking at, and right next to me was Amanda.